My biggest talent is always being able to tell what's in a wrapped present. It's a gift.
Some people have trouble sleeping. But I can do it with my eyes closed.
My daughter asked if I had seen the
I said, "No, I didn't even know he could."
Poop jokes aren't my favorite.
But they are a solid number two.
What is the opposite of a croissant?
A happy uncle.
A coworker named Celsius recently retired at my work, so they hired a guy named Kelvin to replace him.
He's the new temp.
How do you make the number one disappear?
You just add a G and it's gone.
The other day I bought a thesaurus, but when I opened it all the pages were blank.
I have no words to describe how angry I am.