I have a new theory on inertia, but it doesn't seem to be gaining momentum....

The other day I bought a thesaurus, but when I opened it all the pages were blank.

I have no words to describe how angry I am. 

There are 10 types of people in this world; those who understand binary, and those who don't. 

Why didn't the sun go to graduate school?

It already had a million degrees

Why did the physicist break up with the biologist? 

There was no chemistry

A coworker named Celsius recently retired at my work, so they hired a guy named Kelvin to replace him.

He's the new temp.